Welp, I'm in the Tokyo-Narita airport right now. I had a 6 hour layover here that I had intended to leave during, but when I tried going through customs it was a total crap show. A real Lost in Translation moment. I tried explaining that I had a 6 hour layover that I wanted to leave during, then come back. My japanese wasn't too rough, either, it was pretty spot on. But, they had NO idea why I would do that, then eventually told me I had to just go to my gate. So, I'm using my 6 hour layover to respond to emails, catch up on all the Twins news, and read one of the books I brought.
This morning I left the house that Sarah and Angela are staying at at 7:15, got to the train station at 7:40, then took a train from 7:40 until 9:00. I changed trains then, and rode another train from 9-10:10 to the Nagoya airport. I had stowed my luggage in a coin locker there, which apparently is not 600 yen to rent, but is instead 600 yen per day...which meant that I paid 1800 yen ($18) to stow them. But, it was WAY easier than lugging them around. Welp, my flight left at 1130, so when i checked in at 1030 the flight people rushed me RIGHT through check-in. I got to the gate with plenty of time, though, and the flight was only 45 minutes long. Really not rough at all. And so, now here I am, with another 2.5 hours until boarding and another 3.5 hours until flight time.
I am REALLY glad I got to come visit Japan. I've been calling these few days my Japan Greatest Hits Reunion Tour. In the last 2+days I got to re-experience most of my favorite parts of study abroad. I also had A LOT of time to think about a lot of things, which was great having time to think, but I've started getting antsy and know that I need to start spending time with people again. So, I am very excited to get to Manila and start hanging out with Matt and start meeting the monks. The entire time on the train this morning, and the first chunk of the plane ride from Nagoya to Tokyo I was just SO, SO nervous to get to Manila. One might call it a crisis of faith, or a crisis of conscience, or even just fear and nerves. It was basically just me feeling really uncertain as to why I was going to Manila and not staying home or working or doing grad school or basically...just why was I doing this? In the end it boiled down to me feeling SO UNBELIEVABLY nervous about doing this, because of how challenging and difficult this 8 months is going to be. I think a huge part of that is that I still don't know what I'll be doing, so I really have no idea what to expect. A week ago that was great. Now that I'm on the trail, it sucks. I think it will be a lot better once I finally get there, once I get into a bit of a routine, once I start meeting people, and once I get busier. Life would be so much less challenging if I wasn't doing this, but, I need to do this. I need to try. It's not impossible, because people have done this before, maybe not in Manila, but in other countries. I have friends who are going to be gone for a full year and are on their own in another country. I have a friend who'll be gone for the next 2 years. In the end, 8 months is not forever, and I should have a really solid support network in Manila once I get there. For now, it's just the fear of the unknown, the fear of great challenge, and the prospect of triumph.
Even though I don't really know what I signed up for (because I don't know what I'll be doing), I know what I signed up for. This is labeled as a challenging personal experience, and these are all great challenges for me. I have a great opportunity to grow, a great opportunity to learn, and a great opportunity to enjoy a completely difference lifestyle and culture. Things are on the up and up, I know I'll be fine, but sitting here in the airport hearing flights to Minneapolis being called out makes it hard to keep my eyes on the prize. But, things will work out, and again I take solace in the verse a dear friend sent me last week:
This morning I left the house that Sarah and Angela are staying at at 7:15, got to the train station at 7:40, then took a train from 7:40 until 9:00. I changed trains then, and rode another train from 9-10:10 to the Nagoya airport. I had stowed my luggage in a coin locker there, which apparently is not 600 yen to rent, but is instead 600 yen per day...which meant that I paid 1800 yen ($18) to stow them. But, it was WAY easier than lugging them around. Welp, my flight left at 1130, so when i checked in at 1030 the flight people rushed me RIGHT through check-in. I got to the gate with plenty of time, though, and the flight was only 45 minutes long. Really not rough at all. And so, now here I am, with another 2.5 hours until boarding and another 3.5 hours until flight time.
I am REALLY glad I got to come visit Japan. I've been calling these few days my Japan Greatest Hits Reunion Tour. In the last 2+days I got to re-experience most of my favorite parts of study abroad. I also had A LOT of time to think about a lot of things, which was great having time to think, but I've started getting antsy and know that I need to start spending time with people again. So, I am very excited to get to Manila and start hanging out with Matt and start meeting the monks. The entire time on the train this morning, and the first chunk of the plane ride from Nagoya to Tokyo I was just SO, SO nervous to get to Manila. One might call it a crisis of faith, or a crisis of conscience, or even just fear and nerves. It was basically just me feeling really uncertain as to why I was going to Manila and not staying home or working or doing grad school or basically...just why was I doing this? In the end it boiled down to me feeling SO UNBELIEVABLY nervous about doing this, because of how challenging and difficult this 8 months is going to be. I think a huge part of that is that I still don't know what I'll be doing, so I really have no idea what to expect. A week ago that was great. Now that I'm on the trail, it sucks. I think it will be a lot better once I finally get there, once I get into a bit of a routine, once I start meeting people, and once I get busier. Life would be so much less challenging if I wasn't doing this, but, I need to do this. I need to try. It's not impossible, because people have done this before, maybe not in Manila, but in other countries. I have friends who are going to be gone for a full year and are on their own in another country. I have a friend who'll be gone for the next 2 years. In the end, 8 months is not forever, and I should have a really solid support network in Manila once I get there. For now, it's just the fear of the unknown, the fear of great challenge, and the prospect of triumph.
Even though I don't really know what I signed up for (because I don't know what I'll be doing), I know what I signed up for. This is labeled as a challenging personal experience, and these are all great challenges for me. I have a great opportunity to grow, a great opportunity to learn, and a great opportunity to enjoy a completely difference lifestyle and culture. Things are on the up and up, I know I'll be fine, but sitting here in the airport hearing flights to Minneapolis being called out makes it hard to keep my eyes on the prize. But, things will work out, and again I take solace in the verse a dear friend sent me last week:
Romans 13:12- "The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light"
and:
Ephesians 6: 10-18- " 10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."
So, things'll be alright. Anywho, hope things are well and talk to you soon!
So, things'll be alright. Anywho, hope things are well and talk to you soon!
a word from Br. Paul Richards and Ben DeMarais: "You dont know what you are doing or what to expect? WELCOME TO THE SJBVC! :) be patient, do what needs to be done, or just make it up..."
ReplyDeleteand yes, that was a direct BPR quote.
be well, corey. let us know if you need anything
-Ben
aww! Corey you will be awesome! and I have faith that you will be able to conquer the challenges that await you. Know that you are not alone in your feelings of nervousness cause as I sit here talking to my roommate I am saying the same things....thoughts I never really let cross my mind before.
ReplyDeletetalk to you soonish I suppose. Until then live it up!